2004-11-02 - 9:02 p.m.

bruised, burned and blown away

But in a good way.

This past weekend I went to a 2-day festival. Do I not realize that I'm an old woman and can't do these things without harming myself? Apparently not. The first day, I got into town, checked into my hotel (three hours before official check-in time, thank you Holiday Inn, I love you), went over and spent a few hours walking around and looking at the vendor booths. There was a theme in which I wasn't really interested, but I figured I'd waste some time looking around. The concerts were definitely low priority at this festival, but not for me. I looked at everything that was remotely interesting in an hour or so, then hung out and watched (from outside the gates) the sound check for the main band playing that night, then went back to my room. This wasn't my band - they played the second night. I did want to see this band, but I didn't want to hang out all afternoon waiting.

There were a couple of local bands playing before the main band, so about 15 minutes before the first band was set to come on, I walked back over to the festival. Amazingly, I walked right up to the barricade - there were only about 20 people there, and not all of them were right up at the front. I was surprised - the main band for the night wasn't due up for another 3 hours, but they're pretty popular and have a top 10 single at the moment, so I was shocked they didn't have tons of fans showing up early. Oh well - it got me up at the front, and God knows I'm a front row addict.

The first band was a local band and was pretty good. They sounded great, the songs were decent and their stage act was good. Polish them up a bit and they'll be really impressive.

The second band - um. Yeah. If only they'd meant to be making fun of themselves and intended their act as total camp. Now, I'm one to respect a performer who's up there trying, but there was just too much going on I couldn't help but laugh at. Their main problem was that their entire act seemed to be built around one message, and the message was, "we have a chick lead singer and she's hot." Which would be bad enough even not counting the fact that, well, kinda not so much. It wasn't her looks. She was cute and had a nice figure. But what she was doing with it... just wasn't going over.

Some constructive criticism for you, honey. First: burn those clothes. No matter how good a body you have, one size too small is one size too small. You have an athlete's build, not a supermodel's. That outfit did nothing for you. Second: that lyric in your first song that I'm sure you think is edgy and shocking? Is just stupid. When the entire front row suddenly splits into groups of two so everyone can turn to someone else and say, "did she just say what I think she said?", the reaction you're looking for when it's confirmed is "cool," not "ewwwww." When you repeat that general lyrical theme in every song that follows, it gets stupider every time. Third: when you are trying to sell yourself as sex incarnate, and you see a lot of sober women in your audience, think about whether that's indeed what your selling point should be. When you go for it anyway and even the two 20-year-old males in the center of the front row are bored and not buying, then really, really quit selling it.

The sad thing is, the band wasn't bad. The music wasn't bad. Her voice was pretty good. But the smarmy lyrics and the really bad pouty-flirty act overshadowed everything else. The rest of the band was playing into it, too - everything was just so over the top. The lead guitarist was using some weird wah-wah type effect during every other song, and the volume of her guitar was turned up way over any of the vocals. So as far as the audience could tell, the lyrics of most of the songs consisted of "weeeow waka waka waka, weeeow waka waka waka, weeeow waka waka waka, waka, waka," repeat and rinse. Of course when we could hear the lyrics, they were all "I'm so hot, I know you want me," etc. etc.

Like I said, I really try to be polite and respect the fact that people are up there trying their best. But the reactions of the crowd were just too much to ignore. I didn't know anyone else at the show that night, and the two women next to me weren't very chatty, so we hadn't been talking before or between bands. But when this singer said before the third song, "How's everybody doing out there?" the girl two people down from me turned to her friend, which also meant she was facing me, and said, "Not really well." I couldn't help overhearing and cracking up, and after that the three of us were a little team, sharing incredulous expressions and eye-rolls for the rest of the show.

Luckily, the headlining band for the night was amazing. The audience was a bit younger than my usual crowd, and we had a full blown mosh pit at one point. That, and just the fact that I was hanging over a metal bike rack/barricade for many hours for two nights in a row, accounts for my bruises. But I don't mind them at all. Rarely does anyone have that much fun getting bruises. Well, speaking for myself, anyway. The music was great, headbanging was excellent, and I was quite impressed with the showmanship of the lead singer. He really grabbed his audience, and the entire band looked like they were having a great time. And that's so important.

I think that's enough. Day 2 coming up next...

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -