2004-04-13 - 7:39 p.m.

You're just jealous that the voices talk to me

When it's right, it's right... and when it's wrong, it's just too hard.

That's not true of everything. But it seems to be true with me and my concert karma.

Not that when it's right, it's easy. My trip to Atlanta, for instance, cost me a good deal of time and effort to set up. But no major road blocks, money or otherwise, and eventually a lot of things fell into place, and everything just felt so right during the whole process. And too many things happened that were so special, and there was no way I could have planned those things if I tried. That's the evening I mentioned a while back from which I keep reliving various moments spontaneously. I could tell you the whole story, but the things that I thought were so wonderful, most people would either think were insignificant, or they wouldn't believe were true. Just a whole afternoon and evening of being made to feel very, very special, by a lot of people who weren't even trying to do that. Okay, one of them was. Did he ever do a good job.

Okay, where was I? Had to take a "reminisce and sigh deeply" moment there.

Oh yeah. Karma, destiny and all that. Okay, for instance, that show was just RIGHT. The next night I went to another show and also - some pretty cool stuff. And totally luck that I was there at all. In contrast, there was a show the night after THAT, which I had thought about attending. Here's the contrast.

The Friday night show: someone posts to a list I'm on and says, "I have an extra ticket in the front row, anyone want to buy it?"

The Saturday show: Tickets are only available by phone, they go on sale on a day I'm on the road in my car, so at the time that they go on sale, I pull over to call for tickets. I waste 15 minutes of travel time getting busy signals and disconnects. I stop a few more times, same thing. I'm getting through to the ticket office but getting disconnected before I talk to a person every time. Finally I decide maybe it's my cell phone and I stop to go to a pay phone. I walk up to the pay phone and I totally can't remember my calling card number. Absolutely 100% cannot remember it. Not the PIN - the calling card number itself.

People - my calling card number is my home phone number. I should kinda KNOW that.

So as I stood there on icy pavement, with wind whippng my hair into my eyes, in front of a graffiti-covered pay phone, unable to remember my own phone number, wasting daylight, I heard a voice in my head ask, "Enough hints already or do you need more?" I said, nope, thanks God, I'm good. I'm not supposed to go to this show. Got it. Sorry it took me so long.

Of course when I got where I was going and had a land line, I did try *one* more time. Got disconnected again. Can't blame me for just one "are you sure," can you? I could tell God rolled his eyes at me, but he's pretty tolerant. I stopped trying.

What made me start out on this wild torrent of exposition is what happened last night. I've been planning two trips - well actually three but two big ones - for May. Plane fare and hotels are already booked for one of them, and last night I scored an extreme ticket coup. Once again, someone I knew had tickets they couldn't use and wanted to sell. Not really cheap, but a LOT less than what I was looking at through another route, and trying to figure out if I could possibly afford. Details to follow later - I really need to tell that story from the beginning.

On the other hand, finally checked plane fare for the other trip. I should probably do that earlier on in the process. Ouch - pretty hefty, and the logistics would be a bit torturous. For just one show - and I already wasn't feeling good about taking a day off for this one. I'm waiting for a stronger sign... but I think I may have to give this one up. Doesn't really feel wrong yet... but doesn't quite feel right.

As my hairdresser says, always listen to the little voices. Well the little voices are mumbling. So I'm waiting for them to be clear, or for a sign from God. Whichever. Sign from God preferred.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -