2004-10-07 - 12:13 a.m.

Ramblefest

Oh let's see how much I can ramble while I'm procrastinating and not doing the things I should actually be doing.

First of all... I'm out of work this week. Worry not, I start back to work next week. Kinda same job. Which is still... wait for it... a TEMP job. After the first 13 months of the job, they ran out of funding for me. But they didn't want to lose me so someone else bought the rights to me for September, for one particular project. Which, thanks to a guy who was really organized, got finished on schedule. I was 99% sure I'd be out of work this month. I know, I was 99% sure last month too. Easy for someone else sitting out there to say oh yeah, she gets all worked up every month, then something works out. She should chill. Yeah. Let it be YOUR job turning to nothing at the end of every month and have everyone around you telling you goodbye, and you just chill and say oh well, I'm sure something will work out.

Anyway though, this time I was pretty sure. Well, Thursday afternoon they came up with an idea to keep me for another short term - I have no idea how long this time - by switching me to yet another manager/department. However, he wasn't going to be able to get things ready for me to start work on his project by Monday, so they decided to give me a week off, and then I'll come back on Monday the 11th and start working for him. Which worked out kind of okay, because I was out of town Monday and have another commitment Thursday which will take at least half the day. So if I had to take a week off, I guess this was an okay week for it to happen... on the other hand, there's never really a good week to just not get paid for the week. Oh well.

On the brighter side. I was out of town Monday because I went this weekend to meet my new niece! My sister and her husband have a new little girl, who was born eight weeks ago. Because of other previously planned trips (I know, bad me) and being sick on the one available weekend since then, this past weekend was the first time I was able to go meet the baby. She's just a doll. I fed her a few times and held her a lot. She's just a cutie.

And I'm gonna say this because my sister doesn't read this and so can't read it and get her feelings hurt... this didn't make me want to have a baby. If anything would have done it, I think this would have, but it didn't. Guess I don't have that "biological clock" thingy. It did make me sorry that I'm not closer and can't see her more, but it didn't make me want my own.

Oh what else... inlaws are gone for another year. Well, possibility they're coming back in January but we won't know about that until who knows when. Maybe not until Christmas. Anyway, the way it worked out, I only saw them for two days. One day was miserable and the other was tolerable. And as the yearly visits go, that's not that bad. Although I haven't thoroughly inspected the guest room yet, so maybe I'm speaking too soon...

I'm going on a new medication for my arthritis tomorrow... ugh, I feel so OLD every time I say that. I was really fine about turning 40 and even kind of excited about it until this. Now I'm just OLD. Hopefully this will help. I decided to call my doctor and tell him the Motrin just wasn't cutting it, so he's putting me on Naproxen and we'll see how that does. I was trying to figure out where the line was between being a whiny baby about the pain and being a martyr. This weekend when I found myself standing in an airport gift shop, staring into space, trying to determine exactly how many tens of thousands of dollars (which I don't have) I'd pay for this pain to go away, I decided that meant I should call the doctor. I'm just seriously pissed by how much time I spend thinking about pain. That pisses me off more than the pain itself. If I could just get a grip and keep doing what I wanted to do, even though I was in pain, I'd just do it. The fact that the pain stops me just makes me angry. I mean, I watch commercials. If Frankenstein can work in his garden and do yoga, I should be able to walk down a freakin hallway without having to stop and rest.

New topic. Why did I say I'd do this... again? Why? I feel like Marcia Brady and I just promised Davy Jones would play at the prom. Hopefully it works out that well.

Speaking of. My husband for some unknown reason watched part of the Brady marthon a couple weekends ago on TV Land. They had the Davy Jones episode as a "pop-up-Brady" episode, and one of the early factoids was that Davy Jones apparently was amused by how many times they said his name during the episode. It was a lot - averaged out to about once every 90 seconds or something. So about halfway through the episode, my husband turned to me and said, "Okay, I give up. Who's Davy Jones?" It's rare any more that I am reminded he didn't grow up in the US - but that was a dead giveaway. He did know who the Monkees were though. Just not by individual name.

The personal relationship thing is going about the same. Most days I don't think about it. Okay, fine, I'm lying. Some days I don't think about it. But actually those days are rare. Most days I do think about it and just don't know what I can do about it. Sometimes it makes me feel hurt, sometimes angry, always sad. I'd like to know what happened but there's no way to find that out. Asking wouldn't get an honest answer. Don't you just wish sometimes you could say to people, "Look, this is how I feel. How do you feel?" and know you'd get a real answer? It might not be a pleasant answer but at least you'd know.

Oh well. Guess I'll live with what I have now.

At least I'm still learning new things. I have a copper bracelet I bought this summer in Santa Fe, from one of the artisans selling her work at the Palace of the Governors. I hadn't really worn it yet, just because I'm disorganized and paranoid. Never mind the explanation. Anyway, I bought it because it was pretty and I liked it. Now I'm reading there are really medical opinions that say copper jewelry may possibly help arthritis pain a bit. Basically the opinion seems to be there's a small chance it could help, and it won't hurt unless you poke yourself in the eye with it. Either way it's still pretty and I like it, so I've started wearing it. After a week or so, of course, it started oxidizing and turning my wrist a bit green. Which is fine and means it's "working," etc. etc. But to the learning new things. Know one of the most effective things you can use to clean copper jewelry? Ketchup. Just acidic enough to take the tarnish right off and leave it bright and shiny. Is that perfect for me or what? Well take my word for it, it is. So a quick ketchup rub-down and it looks like new. Pretty cool.

Oh, and the squish-o-matic results came back non-cancerous. Always good to hear.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -