2004-11-30 - 2:17 a.m.

don't just sit there

Okay, so you know those 4 concerts in 4 states that I was going to after my birthday? They're done. Conclusion? I miss my band sooooooooo much. I miss my crew, too. I even had this one really long, weird dream recently which included a cameo appearance by the World's Greatest Guitar Tech. Basically his role was just that the two of us unexpectedly crossed paths in a parking lot, stopped to talk for a few seconds, then each went about our business. Sigh... I miss my boys.

The concerts were good though. Common thread? Altogether way too much damn SITTING.

I must have a thing about sitting. I used to teach, and all the other instructors were so happy when they got a classroom that had a podium and a stool or a lower desk with a chair, so they could sit during their class. If I got a room with a chair, I always gave the chair away. It was wasted on me. I tried to sit and teach a couple of times, but I hated it. It just felt like I wasn't doing anything - like I was just phoning it in. I needed to be up, gesturing, pointing, writing on the board, walking around to see how the students were doing. I didn't feel like I was part of the action if I was sitting. I think I've carried that through to my concert going. But back to the concerts...

Two of them were in small theatres and were woefully underattended. For the first one I think people just didn't want to stand. Even when the band LEFT the stage for the evening, only about 15 of us stood to applaud. People seemed to be bopping around in their seats and enjoying the concert, but they just wanted to sit. But come on people - when the band is leaving? STAND UP and give them some appreciation! You're going to have to stand up to put your coats on and LEAVE in a second anyway!

At the other theatre show, my friend and I should have stood. I think a bunch of other people would have if we had. If not we could have just sat back down. Wouldn't be the first time for that, by a long shot. But there were three bands, and not a lot of crossover in fans, and this was one of the shows with a very small audience already. So each band had an audience of a small bunch of die-hards, and a slightly larger bunch of people-sitting-and-politely-enjoying-the-music. Which is fine and is better than people-sitting-bored-and-talking-through-the-show, but... sigh. We should have stood and waited to see what happened. The lead singer of the band that played last finally did, near the end of his show, say to the audience, "Get up!" And immediately we all did. He didn't even have to ask us twice. That made me sad that we didn't try it earlier.

The third show was at a casino venue. Unfortunately, one of those venues with table seating, where almost all the tables down front are reserved for the high rollers. This one was general admission, so all the riff-raff waits in line for hours before the show, then gets seated at the back tables down on the floor, or at the tables on one of the two elevated levels farther back. The two tables up front at the very far ends of the stage are the only two close tables where the people who cared enough to queue up are allowed. This wasn't my band, so I wasn't there at 7am like the earliest people, but I still got there three and a half hours before the show, and two hours before they started letting people in. I'm happy to report that at least the line was indoors.

I was about the 40th person in line. When I got up to the front of the line where the "hosts" were seating people, he asked how many in my party, and I said one (I always have an Elayne Boosler "party of one!" moment when I say that). He says, "Just one? Would you like to go down to the floor?" Yes please (hoping this is not going to be followed by a Monty Python "thwow her to da floor" moment). "I can put you right up front if you'd like." Yes please. Turns out, nicely enough, that of the only two tables for six up front, one of them had five people seated at it, with one seat just waiting for me. Sometimes it's good to be a party of one! Not only that, but the seat that the other five people at the table had chosen to leave open? Was one of the two RIGHT AT the stage.

It was odd at first. This is a "rush the stage" band. This was not a "rush the stage" venue or audience. The problem with the high-roller seating (or at least it's a problem from my perspective and the perspective of any decent "rush the stage" rock band), is that you get the entire front center section filled with people who get escorted in at the last minute, most likely have no idea who the band is that's in front of them, and just want to sit back and order drinks so they can brag to people tomorrow that they were ushered in to the front row of a concert. The people to whom they will be bragging, I might add, are the sort of people who will just go "oh, how WONDERFUL," without even asking the tedious question of "who did you see," because what difference does a little detail like that make?

Yes I know, am I jealous much? Shut up. I just don�t understand it. It's frustrating for the band and frustrating for the fans who actually came to see them. If someone would like to try to explain to me how this is a rewarding experience for the high rollers and why I should therefore stop picking on them, I'll try and listen. Until then I'll just be happy when the bands just keep saying, "Stand up! Come forward! Come on up, sing along, it's a rock show!" Until FINALLY, people do. The high rollers at this show still mostly stayed put, but after enough direct instruction from the singer, people from the back came up in front of them and took the edge of the stage. And of course I was right up there, right in front of my own seat, early on. Now of course there are some of the "privileged" people who really do get into the band they're seeing. Good for you and I don't begrudge you your front row spot one bit. But sitting-type-high-roller-people, either get up here with me or wait until next week and come see Anne Murray. I doubt she tells her audience to loosen up and get up off their asses. You'll love her.

The fourth show was a big time, semi-large arena show, by a band I didn't really know that much about, but that people had told me would blow me away.

Eh.

They were good and all, and once again, I think I would have enjoyed the show a lot more had I been STANDING for most of it and not SITTING in the front row (spoiled much? Yes, I know). And I will say that a few times during the show, a couple of the band members did kind of make that "get up" hand motion. But it wasn't going to do any good. Part of it was that the audience just didn't seem to be in a "stand up" mood, and also just didn't seem to be "stand up" people. But for another thing, the pace and format of the show was very... I don't want to say uneven, because that sounds negative and badly planned, and I think this show was very meticulously planned. So let's say the pace was extremely varied. You need momentum for the "stand up" attitude to take hold, and there were too many lulls in the momentum. Again, not a bad thing. Just not exactly what I was expecting, and it led to a lot of sitting during the harder rock segments since the audience had sat long enough to grow roots. Kind of a quiet audience anyway. That might have had something to do with the fact that the one time the band did entice the audience to clap along with a song, the lack of rhythm was painfully funny. It wasn't even the classic mismatch of the one-and-three people struggling against the two-and-four people. It was like an audio ad for the Institute for the Rhythmically Impaired. Imagine the random clapping sound that would come from someone trying to bolt across a room where the floor had been completely lined, every inch, with mousetraps set to spring. Clap. Clapclapclap. Clapclap. Clapclapclapclapclapclap. Clapclap. Clap. Clap. Horrifyingly funny.

When was that breakdown of mine scheduled again? Maybe I'm just early.

You know what I just realized? All four shows I went to - front row. Even though for two of them it was a surprise. And all I can do is bitch. Sorry about that. Two of the shows were really really fantastic, sitting aside. The other two were good. I may or may not go back to see those two acts again - but still good shows.

I really miss my boys.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -