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2005-04-09 - 12:21 a.m. an extremely depressing entry Quiet, I know... a bit uninspired lately I guess. Well also very busy. New job is going well although omg I'm completely reminded of why I always said office politics are much more prevalent in a small office. There's one person who is so unhappy being the only one who hates the boss that she's trying to poison the rest of us. Interesting... My own naivete from seven years ago coming back to haunt me... good thing that now I'm a crusty old bitch and don't let such things happen nearly as often. But I'm reminded lately that there are two people left on my "if I ever see this person again I will inflict great physical pain on him" list. Friends. Tricky. I don't seem to be good at it. I'd like to think it's not my fault but that leaves the explanation that it's everyone else's fault. I seem to spend my time these days wishing I had a close friend while simultaneously being very careful to distance potential new friends because too many times, I just begin to trust someone and then they hurt or betray me in some way. I know I'm too touchy. But what can I do - when something does hurt, it's hard to convince yourself to sign up for more of the same. I don't take it personally I and I certainly don't strike back. But isn't it natural to step away from someone who hurts you, even though you know they didn't mean to? And see... this is why I don't write these days. Amusing things happen; good things happen. I start to write and within minutes I'm all about what I don't have and what I used to have and what makes me sad. I should just try to sleep it off. my mood - |
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