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2006-01-11 - 7:16 p.m. let there be bulbs Okay, true story. (Now you're wondering about all the OTHER stories, aren't you?) Anyway. Many many years and several jobs ago, I worked at a small company where two partners were in charge. One partner did all the staff reviews. The problem was, he never had any memory of anything anyone had done, besides a general opinion of whether the person had done a good job or not over the past year. But in order to fill in the review form, he had to come up with some specifics. So when it came time to do your review, he'd think about what you'd done over the past week or two... and you got your review based on that. So, one year it came time for my review, and he called me into his office and we went over the form. High marks, good comments. Then it came to the part where he was required to give "constructive criticism" and list a specific area where I could improve. Naturally, he had trouble with this, because of course I am perfect. But you certainly can't leave a question blank! So what did he list for me under "areas to be improved"? Well, about two days before my review, a light bulb burned out in our lobby. The lobby was plunged into abject darkness and many people were maimed tripping over the sofa. Well, no, not really. Just one out of four bulbs went out, so we were forced to rely on the light of three other bulbs and two lamps (the horror) to light the lobby where no clients ever sat anyway. The day the light burned out, I called the management company and told them, since I was the one who did that kind of thing. They didn't come right away. Unfortunately for me, I did not know that these couple of days of darkness happened to coincide with The Time Of Judgement. Yes, believe it or not, I got written up on my yearly review for letting a burned out light bulb remain unchanged for TWO DAYS. He didn't even have the sense to claim that I let those kinds of things go on a regular basis and write that I needed to take better care of the office. No, he wrote, "light bulb in lobby has been out for two days." When they showed up that afternoon and fixed it, I wanted to run into his office and say, "Hey, I've already achieved my goals for next year! Be sure and write that down!" What makes this memory come rushing back suddenly? Monday afternoon, I noticed that a bulb was burned out in my boss's office. He hadn't even noticed - that's how horribly dark it was in there. I mentioned it and said I'd call about it. However, I had other work to do, and I forgot it until the next day (which was yesterday), so I called then. Just happened that yesterday afternoon, my boss asked if I'd called yet, and I said I'd forgotten Monday, but I'd called that morning. He was fine (because he's a human). The funny thing was that, when I remembered out of the blue yesterday that I hadn't called, I immediately thought (facetiously, of course), oh no - you're letting a light bulb remain out for TWO DAYS! Better get that fixed so it doesn't show up on your review! So the REALLY funny thing? Guess what happened unexpectedly this morning? My boss gave me my yearly review. No mention of light bulbs. The story isn't THAT funny. But if he had mentioned it... I think I would have screamed. I do wish they'd fix it though. If they don't come by tomorrow lunch, I'm calling again. I don't want to get a reputation. On the way home tonight I was thinking... it had been a long time since I'd had a review at any job. Before this job, I had a temp job for almost 2 years... no review there. Before that, I had a job that lasted a year with a month's layoff in the middle, so no review ever happened there. Before that, I had a job that lasted for five years, but for the last three of that, I was a manager, and the person who was above me never had time to give reviews. I did get one increase during the three years, but never a review. So the last time I had a review was probably spring or summer of 1999. I hadn't had a review this whole entire millennium. No wonder I was surprised. I finally have an appointment tomorrow to get that newly broken tooth looked at. Wish me luck that I won't need a crown. But for right now I'll settle for some kind of smoothing out or something that means it'll stop scratching the living daylights out of my tongue.
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