2004-06-15 - 1:10 a.m.

I've run out of synonyms for hot

I think I'm mostly recovered from my weekend spent in the world's largest EZ-Bake oven. My arms are hardly red at all anymore and thanks to lots of lotion after day 1 and the hindsight turned to foresight to use sunscreen on day 2, I didn't get enough of a burn on them to peel. My face didn't get burnt at all, to speak of. Strangely, you know the only part of my face that got enough sun to turn red? My upper lip. Who'd have thought - who puts sunscreen on their upper lip? Guess next time I plan to spend the day in that kind of sun and heat, I will.

Oh by the way, next time I plan to spend the day in that kind of sun and heat, someone shoot me before I can carry out the plan. Thanks.

The only place I did get enough of a burn to peel is the back of my left ear. Top, back, whatever you call it. Apparently during part 2 of day 1, when I had my hair up and was wearing a hat, my ear was peeking out enough to get singed. Funny though, my right arm got much more sun than my left. Can't explain that one.

Somewhere in that huge adventure, I also twisted my right ankle - that's about back to normal now. So I'm still alive and not much the worse for wear.

I have a confession to make though - I completely shamed the rock chick. We ditched the concert not quite a third of the way through ("we" being the rock chick and me; I have no problems morphing parts of myself into entire distinct personalities).

That place was a furnace. I've been in higher temperatures, and higher humidity. Neither was particularly bad. But together, and in that stadium, it was hellacious. The sun was beating down harder than I've ever felt it. The seats and the stage just reflected the heat, and there was no shade anywhere near my seat. If I had been on the field, I'd have been cooked for sure - they covered the grass with some sort of flooring. It looked metal. It couldn't possibly have been, but it looked it, and reflected like it. During the first hour, I watched three people pass out and be carried to the first aid tent. After that I tried not to notice.

The sunscreen definitely was a good thing, but it also made me feel like I was wearing a light coat of cooking oil. It's funny that as I sat there, I was thinking, wow, I feel positively stir-fried. Not an expression I've ever used before. But I read a review of the show the next day that talked about the heat turning the stadium into a giant wok. Guess it wasn't just me.

After a little past two hours into the show, which made it a total of 3 hours I'd been in the sun, I had a little chat with the rock chick. It was a shame to leave, because there were going to be a lot of really cool people playing and it would be great to be able to say I'd seen them. On the other hand - I was having a hard time actually enjoying myself. It's hard to have a really great time when the heat is raising your blood pressure to the point where you can watch your fingertips all expand and contract with each pulse of your heart. Well probably not really but it felt like it. Also, the stage was so huge, and divided into sections so they could change between acts faster. When the performers were playing on the section near me, I had a fantastic seat. When they were playing on either of the other two, I couldn't even see them with binoculars because of obstructions - I could see the big screen, but that was it. I'm a spoiled brat as far as concerts go - I'm not crazy about not actually being able to see the performers. I had actually already seen the guy who was considered the main event, the night before, much closer. So as far as actually enjoying the concert, yeah the music was great, but it was less like being at a live show than it was like listening to good music while being sauteed. Not my favorite way to spend the day.

So rock chick wasn't thrilled but also didn't want to explode in a boiling mess all over the stadium. After climbing back up the steps to the concession area, it was clear I wasn't going to survive two or three more rounds of sitting in the sun for a couple hours and climbing back up the stairs to get into some shade. We went over the list of performers and decided there wasn't anyone there worth spontaneous combustion - and we left.

Here's where God's little joke comes in. I truly believe this was to punish me for my dishonesty about this weekend. On my way back to the car, I got misdirected. Literally. I was walking in what I thought was the right direction, but I wasn't sure, so I asked someone who drove the VIP parking shuttle. Who, you'd think, would know the directions to the various parking areas. She sure pretended to know, and told me I was going the wrong way. So for the next hour and half, I wandered all around the entire paved area of the earth. But I accept that. Moses wandered for forty years. I got off easy. Although I did think I was just going to collapse in frustration when after an hour, I turned up at the same place where I had started - and had no idea how that happened. But I did finally end up at the big huge gold Chevrolet Something that I had rented. Huge in terms of long. That thing took up a parking space and a half - looked like one of RSP's shoes. And he has some seriously long feet. But I didn't care - it was air conditioned.

So I made it back to the hotel (also air conditioned), took a cool shower and a nap. The nap was to cleanse my emotional palate. That's what I do when I've had a really shitty day, when I can - quick nap, end that day already, get up, new one. I considered going back over to the stadium for the end of the show, but I figured the parking nightmare would be even worse, and I didn't want to end up wandering around lost again, in the dark. The rock chick was pouting, not so much because she wanted to go back but because she was so embarrassed at bailing out of a concert. The previous two days had been such a blast and so much fun that I hated to end the trip on a downswing. So, I discovered there was a Hard Rock Caf� in town, and I took her out to dinner.

I figured it would be pretty quiet there, because all the Hard Rock Caf� type people would be over the other side of town at the show, and boy was I right. When I got there, there were maybe three other tables occupied. By the time I left at 9pm, it was just me! Well, me and the rock chick. We had a great time. I refrained from actually talking to her out loud (for the most part) so no one would start sizing me for a butterfly net.

So all in all, not exactly as planned, but it was a fun day. Oh, the kicker? The concert was cut short because it rained and thunderstorms looked imminent. How pissed would I have been if I had gone back out there and then they ended the show early? Never mind how pissed I would have been that it rained after dark, and not during the day - a nice downpour at about 2pm and I would have stayed a lot longer. So I think I made the right choice both times - in not staying and bursting into flames, and in not going back and ending up being wet and annoyed.

Turns out the rock chick is slightly responsible after all. Don't tell anybody.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -