2005-10-19 - 7:44 p.m.

damaged

So, what's up? you ask.

Oh, say I, not much, just some passive aggressive fucked up shit that's giving me a headache.

And making me wish

again

as I do every time

that I could sneak out this window and not have to go back into that room where they are. Not even the corner of it that I'd have to pass through to get to the stairs and escape to my bedroom.

Yeah our bedroom whatever. I don't like him right now.

And I don't want the stupid presents that are things I don't like and yes it's the thought that counts but that's the point - what thought is involved in consistently getting someone something they don't like? "Never mind what she DOES like - this is what she SHOULD like." That's the thought.

And I don't want the fake nice.

And don't touch me.

Just leave me alone. I'm busy over here being a martyr.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -