2005-12-02 - 7:37 a.m.

i still do think he sounded sick

Funniest conversation in the world just now, between me and my husband. First a short one from last night... the man has no idea of social customs. Any human social customs.

Me: My company just announced the Christmas party today, and you're invited.
Him: Me??
Yes.
Why me?
Everyone can bring their spouse or significant other. Let me know if you want to go or not.
Well, you won't be there, so I'm not going.
Why wouldn't I be there?
You'll be at your parents'.
It's not ON Christmas, silly. It's week after next, and yes, I'm going to go.
Oh. Well you're invited to my company's too, but you're not going.
Because you're not?
Right.

I warned the people at work that he's always been known by my co-workers everywhere as "the spouse who is never seen..." which is fine, I'm not going to force him to go. But what did he think? I'd send him to mine without me? Way too dangerous!

So anyway the one this morning. He's downstairs about to walk out the door to go to work, and I'm upstairs still getting ready.
Him, yelling upstairs: I'm going, I'll s... HAGH HAGH (has coughing fit, recovers) I'll see you later!
Me: Are you sick??
Him: No, I was just clearing my throat!
Me, going to the top of the stairs so I can see him: But even when you started talking, your voice was really really deep. (It's deep anyway but it was REALLY low)
Him, grinning: I LIKE it that way.
Then he decides to use the super-low voice, makes this pitiful face and goes, "Raymond gets everything."
Then he makes big breathing noises and goes, "LUKE... I am your father."
I'm cracking up and I say: Are you sure you don't want to come to the Christmas party? You could be the entertainment.
He gives me a "yeah right" look and goes to leave: I'll see you tonight - I guess. Are you going to any concerts or anything?
Me: No, I'm going to the fucking dentist today.
Him: Then I'll fucking see you tonight.

Then I hear him walking to get his coat and put it on and then going out the door... all the way, saying quietly, to himself, "Luke... I am your father."

Maybe you had to be there but it cracked me up.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -