2004-02-08 - 8:57 p.m.

Dream a little dream of me

I hate when I can't write because I'm too down to write, as opposed to when I can't think of any ideas. Because when I feel better, I have all this stuff backed up and no time to write it, or I've forgotten half of it. And you just KNOW the stuff I forgot was REALLY good.

When I get over being down on myself for a while, it's a really HUGE bounceback in the other direction and I get my superiority complex back - just to warn you. But enough about my various and sundry mental illnesses.

I had a dream last night (or possibly you could say today since I slept until noon) that was odd in that several people were in it not as they are, but as they were a while ago.

By the way, if you're one of those people who runs screaming when someone says, "I had this dream last night" because you don't want to hear a long rambling nonsensical recounting of a dream that will end up having no point whatsoever, please commence the running and screaming on my mark, because that's all you have to look forward to in this entry. Ready? Three - two - one - GO!

I'm probably alone now, but I'm going to continue on, for my own amusement.

My dreams have guest stars, almost without exception. Do other people do that? There is almost always a celebrity in my dreams. Sometimes they're "playing themselves" as it were, and I don't know them; sometimes they're themselves and I do know them; sometimes it's one of those bizarre dreams and I have rock stars as secret agent test pilots and actors as office workers. It's not like the dreams are about them; it's pretty rare when that happens. It's more like I have a casting director somewhere who likes to get big names for the supporting roles in my dreams.

Last night's dream included my favorite real-life rock star/philosopher, but he didn't look like he does these days. That's odd, because generally the continuity people in my dreams keep up with the characters' real-life hairstyle and wardrobe changes. This time he looked like he did about three years ago. Just kind of unusual. Seemed perfectly natural in the dream though. He was probably in this one because he tends to come hang out in my dreams when I'm having a hard time. Just comes by to check in and say hi.

My mom was also in this one. With her it wasn't appearance that was the big discrepancy, but presence of mind. She's had several strokes, but in this dream she was like she was ten years ago, all faculties intact. I can probably account for that, since just a day or two ago I was thinking about how hard it is to remember what she was like then. My childhood memories of her are so overshadowed by more recent memories, which I guess is normal. But it means that when I think of her, I think of her as she is now. Not back when her thoughts were clear, she could get up and walk wherever she wanted to go, and she didn't get frustrated trying to express herself, because her brain was always able to connect the thought with the corresponding words. A lot of my dreams are set at least partially in my parents' house, where I grew up and where they still live. Part of this one was set there also.

So my RS/P, this chick I know in real life but don't really care for, and I, are all sitting in the floor of my parents' living room playing a card game. Because yeah - that'd happen. My mom was in the room doing something or other, and other people were coming and going. RSP made a comment about his cards that made me and my mom laugh, but no one else - it was one of those jokes that gets passed around inside a family. This was a real one, too. He said, "What?" And I said, "I'm not sure you'll get it, but you want to hear a family story?" He said sure. So before I started, I asked my mom who it was who had been playing cards at the time this story originally happened, and she told me that it was my Aunt Emily and some friends, whose names she told me. Weird thing was, she was wrong. It was my Aunt Louise, and that's true in reality, and it was true in the dream, and in the dream I realized that she had told me the wrong sister's name. In the dream I thought that was odd. Thinking about it now, it's like that was the one clue that something was wrong, that she wasn't making the correct connection in her mind. So even though she was perfectly fine in the rest of the dream, that was as if it was my reminder that this wasn't real. Anyway, even though I realized she was wrong, I wasn't going to dispute her in front of everyone, because really, what would they care if I told them it was my Aunt Emily when it was really my Aunt Louise? So I told him the story, and as those things always go, he thought it was amusing, but you really have to know the people involved for it to be truly funny - which is why these things are family jokes. In fact, he was much more amused by the way I pronounced "Aunt" throughout the telling of the story. We say it funny in my family.

After one hand of the game, RSP got bored and decided it was more important that he find the ticket for his dry cleaning that he had to pick up the next day. Which it kind of was, because since he wasn't the one who dropped the stuff off, without the ticket he had no idea where his clothes actually were. So he and I left the room so I could help him sift through the incredible accumulation of business cards, receipts and other slips of paper that were in his wallet.

Lots of other people, and other stuff in the dream too - activities just as mundane, traveling from place to place, lots of unmemorable conversations about where to stay, that kind of thing. Nothing exciting, and no "story" to the dream.

But it was nice, and very soothing.

Now to pay all the appearance fees and royalties.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -