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2003-12-19 - 11:03 p.m. Some cleansing anger ...or then again... maybe I'll write one more angry, bitter entry first. Before getting to anything pleasant and fun. Wouldn't want to ruin the run of venomous ventage. Couple of questions for you fine readers. Picture this scenario: You did something involving a friend, without your friend's knowledge. Seemed like a good idea at the time and you thought your friend would think it was funny. Your friend did not. Your friend forgives you but makes it clear they did not like what you did. Now the question - why do you KEEP BRINGING IT UP to said friend (okay, me)? "I'm sorry you didn't like" bla bla. "Remember when I" bla bla. Yes, I remember. No, I didn't like it. And unless you'd like to keep repeating that theme, just DROP IT. If you think it's going to get to a point where I'm going to say oh, it was okay for you to do what you did, get over that. I'm not. Oh, and teasing me that you might do it again... keep expecting me to give you the silent treatment over that one until you say, "just kidding." And don't expect a laugh even then. And bringing it up in front of other people isn't going to accomplish anything either. I'm still not going to laugh, still not going to say it was okay. Just either makes you look foolish or me look like a bitch. I am a bitch, by the way. Since this diary seems to keep coming back to the ongoing search to figure out exactly what (not who) I am... I definitely am a bitch. If I'm being inflexible, someone let me know and I'll take it into consideration... but I learned the hard way from my inlaws that as soon as I said something was "okay," I got more of it. "Don't rifle through my dresser drawers and try all my makeup while I'm gone, I don't like it." "I'm sorry." "It's okay." "Oh, goodie, I'll do it again tomorrow then." No no no no. So I've learned at least that when I don't like something, I am allowed to speak up and say "Don't do that." Next scenario. You owe a friend money. You told them you'd pay them back on a certain date. That date nears and you don't have it. You tell your friend in advance that you won't have all of it. Friend says okay, pay the rest when you have it. (Yes, I know, I thought we'd covered this too. Apparently not.) The date actually comes and when your friend doesn't outright ask you for the partial payment, you drop hints that you don't have ANY of the money. Your friend is a weenie and says it's okay, pay when you can. You know, I just answered my second question before I asked it. But for your amusement, here's what it was going to be: How do you have the NERVE, the next time you see your friend (okay, me) to ask for ANYTHING? Hey, I'm still waiting for a copy of that picture you took. Me - oh sorry, I've been so sick all week. You - "funny" joke about no problem - any time - not really. Ha. Guess who won't be pulling that pic off the digital card tonight. But the answer to the question about how you have the nerve, is that your friend has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is the world's biggest weenie idiot and will let you get away with it. And possibly your lack of an identifiable conscience. I'm never getting that money back, am I? Can we say it's possibly a bad idea for me to bottle things up? I tend to get slightly bitter (no, really). May I also say one other thing - to anyone who's thinking, see - friends shouldn't lend friends money. It ruins the friendship. It's not the money here. It's not even that I didn't get it back on time. It's not even that I may never get it back. It's that I've been used. Again. I'm about to get to the third scenario, and best that one just not be unearthed. So... let's just say, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. my mood - |
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