2004-01-19 - 2:02 a.m.

Things I've Learned This Week

You have to unlock the car door *and* take off the seat belt before you can get out of the car. Twice today I tried just one of those (once for each option), and both times - trapped. Go figure.

Letting a Viking ride along with you to the supermarket, while entertaining as all hell, can be distracting and can lead you to forget to take off your seat belt before attempting to get out of the car.

A half hour before kickoff time of an NFL conference championship game is a fantastic time to go to the supermarket. Nobody waiting at the deli; no lines at the checkouts; no one on the road. I still made it home and only missed five minutes of the game.

Having a soothing talk with your car about why you can't take it to get a wash today but you swear you will tomorrow - complete with negotiating and promises of being dried with a clean fluffy towel - is probably something best done silently, or at least in the privacy of your own garage.

It's best to take the dexterity-reducing carpal tunnel brace off your knife-gripping hand before proceeding to slice crusty bread with a big huge bread knife.

When you are on the highway, and you've realized you're going the wrong way and want to turn around, not every exit leads to a road with a nearby entrance to get back onto the highway, in either direction.

You can't tell which exits do and don't allow quick access back to the highway until you take them.

Learning the above is even less fun in the snow, when you have to drive three miles through a slushy business zone to get back on the highway at the *next* exit.

When you step outside the house and it's seventeen degrees below zero, and the wind is blowing, you know instantly and without question whether you missed a spot when you blow-dried your hair.

Those little electronic dooflotchies that you put on your car's windshield that let you go through tolls without stopping and rolling down your window ROCK.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -