2003-11-25 - 12:28 a.m.

Most hideous sentence ever written

In the history of the English language. I kid you not.

Sometimes you read a sentence and you think wow - that was a really well crafted sentence. There is beauty in its form. Sometimes in its meaning too - sometimes not. But it's a wonder to behold just from turn of phrase and word structure.

And then there's this.

Okay, I will admit - I'm reading a romance novel. It had an interesting title, and the lead female character has my name. That was enough to make me give $2.99 for it, thinking it might be amusing even though I am not a fan of romance novels.

There are sex scenes - but they're kind of annoyingly vague. It's my opinion that if you're going to have sex scenes in your book, make them good and make them plentiful. Not so much either.

But I just rolled my eyes and laughed out loud at this sentence.

Let me set the scene for you. The hero is leaving. Not for good. Just leaving the house for a while. To go tend to things in the barn. But they'll be apart, you see, and they are desperately in love. So they kiss and press and grind. When he goes to leave, she tells him she expects another kiss like that upon his return. And then...

Okay ready?

"The look he gave me made my uterus stutter."

Honest. I read it again and it said the same thing.

Apparently it's an expression of fervent desire... mine never has anything to say to me. Except OW sometimes, and that's always crystal clear. Other than that, not a lot of conversation.

Imagine what awaits me in the remaining 299 pages? Lisping ovaries?

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -