2004-01-31 - 6:04 p.m.

Bitching and whining

I am so sick... Bill Cosby fans please say it with me... "AND TIRED."

...of losing friends over them not paying me money. You must pardon me. I am in a downswing of the manic depressive cycle that is my life and people ALL SUCK. If you were looking for one of the more light hearted moments, feel free to browse through the archive.

CWOMM watch - surprising no one, this is the last day of mail delivery before February 1, THE DAY, and have I gotten anything in the mail? No. Enn Ohh No. I'm going to wait until Monday evening because that's just the kind of generous, understanding, flexible idiot I am, and then I am going to send her an email. It's not going to be nice. It's basically going to say, hey, Feb 1 passed and nothing. I may or may not say that I am not shocked. Haven't decided yet. I am going to say that I am hurt that she promised to pay me something by a certain date twice now, and I am more hurt not by the fact that she didn't/couldn't, but by the fact that both times *I* have been the one forced to bring it up. And that I am hurt that she, claiming to be a friend (not sure if that phrase is staying) has not even felt me worthy of notification that the plan had changed. Not an apology. Not justification. NOTIFICATION.

I am so pissed and so upset. Too bad this didn't happen a few days ago when a really good cry would have been of immense physical help to my burning eyeball.

CWOMM2. Said she was mailing me a check oh let's see, when... I'm pissed enough to actually go look it up.

Okay. Twelve days ago, she says to me, and I quote: "I will send you out a check for $xx as soon as you send me your address." I took out the amount. You all don't need to know exactly how stupid I am. Very late that night I sent her my address. Now you'd think, if she sent out the check and hadn't heard from me in that long, she'd be writing me to say hey, did you get that check yet?

Okay, I don't think I can write this next part without using a lot of all caps. Please forgive the screaming.

And WOULD YOU NOT ALSO THINK... that having PROMISED someone who - once again - you CLAIM is a FRIEND... that you are sending them a check IMMEDIATELY... knowing that this is a time sensitive purchase... that IF YOU COULD NOT send it right away you would HAVE THE COURTESY TO TELL THEM????

NOTIFICATION people... I'm not looking for much here. Just fucking TELL me.

Okay, caps are out of my system. Sorry about that. I'm so pissed. I did email her tonight, a terse little note that said, hey, haven't gotten a check, should I still be looking for it? I don't want to run out of time to sell these tickets to someone else if you can't buy them.

Okay, take a breath. You're not going to believe this.

Ready?

I can't even believe it myself.

Sure?

CWOMM3.

Don't even start with me. Okay? Just don't.

This third one has just broken my spirit, because I didn't even offer to float her for a while - she just assumed. If I didn't have the other two hanging over my head I wouldn't even be this bothered by her, because she offered to do me a favor (which will actually save me money) without me even asking. So I'm less bothered by this on an emotional level. Just wish it hadn't happened right now.

I really hope I've learned my lesson. I really do. From now on when I have tickets I can't use, right onto flippin' ebay they go. No more asking my friends who I think might really appreciate them without serious YOU HAVE TO PAY ME NOW IF YOU WANT THIS disclaimers. I can't freaking afford it any more.

my mood -

the mood of the whole world wide bleepin' web -